Relax About It

Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me...


But no, let's actually talk about sex. One of the greatest aspects of our humanity lies within the realm of that most intimate act. Puberty creates the necessary physiological and psychological changes for people to be able to have sex, and therefore procreate. Humans are one of a few species that have sex just for the sake of pleasure. Marriage was reinforced for the purpose of controlled sexual intimacy so that children could be produced, owned (as in ancient times and not so ancient times) or brought into a safe environment. Yet for all of this, but more than likely because of, sex is a taboo subject in the West. Protestants have had a long history of being very pessimistic towards sex.

It was once thought that sex debased a person. Engaging in the act of sex caused the individual to fall into their most carnal state and fall so far from the grace of God. After all, we must direct our thoughts at all times toward God. During sex, our sole focus is on the individual we are with. Passion and lust over come us. Intimacy is the sinful worship of another human being. Sex, then, is an abhorrent thing that all mortality engages in.

Sex has become a dirty thing in the West. The tawdry, inappropriate wrestle in the hay that you do not speak of. Should you speak of such acts, you certainly do not do so in decent society. Like a boy in grade school shouting "penis" in an escalating competition with his peers, sex is just an indecent word you do not say unless you want to embarrass and make others feel awkward around you.

"We had sex last night." "Our sex was amazing." "Wanna hear about my weekend? It was full of sex. Legs: everywhere." These are not polite dinner conversation to have.

Yet, I feel we have to ask why. Why? Perhaps we're crazy, prudes, or just odd. It seems that so many of our peers are obsessed with sex on the flip-side. How many of us know of friends that are constantly seeking out opportunities to engage in this most sweaty of sports? We all have that friend or know of a person that unabashedly discusses sex openly. The friend that admits to sexual acts to you whether in privacy or publicly. The friend that requests sexual interactions (Wanna play some two hand touch?). The person that interprets everything in a sexual manner. "Are you coming yet?" This phrase suddenly turns into one that has so many sexual components.

So why are we so uptight (or so loose) about it? What's the big deal after all? Honestly, I think everyone should consider these possible options for seeing sex:

1. It's sex. Get over it. Yes, it's exciting, wonderful, and probably a bit too heated in the summer. But that's what showers are for after.

2. Yes. You want it. I want it. She wants it. He wants it. We all have sexual urges. We all are curious about what someone has been born with or received surgical enhancement on. Get over it.

3. Yes. There are thousands, maybe millions of people, having sex right now: casual acquaintances, lovers, adulterers, parents, grandparents, paid-for sex, and so on. Get over it.

4. There is a darker side to sex as well. Some people like it kinky. Some people like it mild. And probably many don't know.

5. You are not an expert. You have no right to decree beyond simple guidelines, discussions, and humorous stories what another person can or cannot do with yet another individual. Unless you are a parent and they are teenagers. Then that's negotiable.

6. Finally. Sex is fun, probably fun, maybe fun, sometimes fun, never fun, and/or gross. Get used to it. Once more, take showers.

Relax. That's what I'd like to see from everyone. Relax about sex. It just is what it is. Stop being obsessed about it. Much of our culture is obsessed with sex. Sometimes I just want to say, "Calm down. Go have sex. Leave the product you are marketing to less sexual innuendos." Seriously, I do not need McDonald's or Presidential races to becomes objects of sexualization. Sex is sex. That's it. There's not much more to it than that.

Anyway, that's my opinion. Feel free to agree or disagree. But before you do either, ask yourself one question, "What is sex to me?"

It's all good, people. It's all good.